This
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antiGUY gives his
top 5 list of music stuff. Could be songs, people, a stupid trend... nothing
is sacred to antiGUY
Top
5 Lamest CD’s of 2002
Another New Year and I’m sure you have
seen more than your fair share of “Best of 2002” lists and articles by
now. We even get into that act each year! With this list, instead
of listing the “Best of,” I wanted to put the anti-slant on it and take
a look at the lamest CD’s of 2002 (In my opinion). Sadly, I only
have five to work with here--I could probably come up with ten times that
many!
So let’s get on with it. Here are my picks
for the Top 5 lamest CD’s of 2002. Feel free to post your own in the fan
speak or call me a hater for bashing your favorite hack.
Let’s hope 2003’s list is shorter! Cheers
and Happy New Year! - aG
Top 5 Lamest CD’s of 2002
5. Linkin Park – Reanimation: I’m
sure this will piss off LP fans but to me this CD seemed like an excuse
for LP to milk what was left of Hybrid Theory for all that it was worth
by taking the songs and doing some remixes. I know that’s a typical tactic
in Hip-hop but don’t people realize what a rip off it is? I liked
Hybrid Theory when it came out and I still do, besides the overexposure
it received, but this CD seemed like a cheap ploy to rip off their fans.
4. Missy Elliott - Under Construction:
Even loading the album up with special guests couldn’t save this CD (almost
half of the tracks features special guests). Maybe I’m missing something
here but Missy’s “raps” are simpleminded and about as far from “fresh”
as you can get. Ending every line with “ya” is really mind expanding. People
who want to argue that hip-hop has credibility should be out pounding the
soapboxes against Missy Elliot because she drags the genre to new lows.
She is to rap what Crazy Town is to rock. And don’t give me that “her beats
are tight” crap, anyone can take pro-tools, acid loops or a drum machine
and create these beats! Give us Missy throwing down the beats with a real
live drum set and I might be impressed.
3. Avril Lavigne – Let Go: The banal
lyrics to “Sk8er Boy” are enough to land this CD on the list but there
are bigger reasons to lash out at Avril. We can chock the lame lyrics up
to Avril’s age and target audience. The problem here is her bogus image
and lack of originality. Sure record exec’s are most likely the culprits
behind the scam of marketing Avril as “punk” but despite who is to blame
that move is just plain lame! Avril is to punk what Poison is to metal!
I won’t even give her that. She’s a teen pop rock singer--nothing less,
nothing more. Without the lyrics, the music is ok and her vocal’s aren’t
bad for a second rate Alanis knock off (Think Creed doing Pearl Jam) but
taking the hype and marketing into account and whole Avril package lands
her firmly on the lame list.
2. Tommy Lee - Never A Dull Moment:
It seems Tommy has never seen a trend he didn’t want to follow and this
CD landed with a thud in record stores and made MCA think twice about their
deal with Tommy. Yes, they ended up dropping him. The problem here is Tommy
tries to be Nine Inch Nails meets Limp Bizkit meets Linkin Park. There
is nothing wrong with trying to remain relevant but Tommy did such a poor
job of mimicking these bands that it is somewhat painful to listen to.
But the worst part is his rap-metal cover of Bowie’s “Fame”. That sin alone
earns him his spot here.
And
the lamest CD of 2002 was
Kelly Osbourne –
Shut Up! This is nepotism at its absolute worst! The world is filled
with real musicians who can’t catch a break and Sony Music gives us Kelly
Osbourne instead? I understand that Sony wanted to cash in on the success
of the Osbournes and if Kelly had some genuine talent it would be a different
story but it looks like what we have instead is a spoiled brat who got
a record deal. Don't hand me that she has a voice crap either. Listen closely
to her singing and you hear the telltale signs of studio magic at work
(natural voices don’t have reverb). The fact that she refused to sing a
bar or two for a fan in a recent episode of The Osbournes speaks volumes.
Her “excuser” gave the lame reason that Kelly didn’t have her band with
her. She needs a band to sing a few lines? Ozzy I love you but why
did you have to foist your kids on the world?
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