Today we are losing Alexa Vega. She's been a real trooper, braving the REPO Road Tour for the past 3 nights, putting up with us, the REPO! Boys, and our REPO! Boy antics. I'm sad to see her go. Alexa's been a real source of light on the tour—for us, and the fans—and because of her role in REPO! (Shilo), I'll always have a soft spot in my heart for Ms. Vega. Hell, in person I almost always refer to her as Shilo. And sometimes, just sometimes, she responds back to me as Mister GraveRobber. I hope that 30 years from now we're still doing this.

January 18th, 2009. We have a 2:00pm flight out of Baltimore today en route to our 6th stop on REPO Road Tour 3: Cincinnati, Ohio. 

We board the plane. Spooky Dan, our Goth-clad tour manager, is seated at the front of the aircraft next to this little, old, blue-haired lady. I so want to stand up and take a picture of this comical pairing, but I refrain; my diabolical intentions would be way too obvious to the other passengers in this confined space, and considering that I'm a hostage aboard this plane for the next 2 hours, I want to avoid 120-minutes of dirty looks, and the inevitable interrogations that will follow: "Why did you steal grandmother's clothes?" Growling, "Because I wanted Red." 

It's 4:00pm. We land in Cincinnati. I'd been told there'd be a horrible blizzard awaiting us here. Thankfully, this was misinformation. It is cold, but the skies are clear as we step off of the plane. We retrieve our luggage, pick up a new rental car—making sure that the GPS system functions this time!—and zip off to our hotel for the night, a Holiday Inn. 

Tonight is the 1st stop on RRT3 where we have 2 back-to-back screenings: a 9:00pm and a midnight showing. So, Darren, Spooky & I are in for a long, late night at the Esquire Theatre, REPO!'s home for the evening…but I'm ready for it.

It's 7:30pm. Darren and I drop Dan off at the theatre to set up our RRT3 merch table, and then proceed down the road in search of a store to pick up silver signing pens. We find a CVS, walk inside, & immediately are spotting by a couple of shopping, "Testify" yelling REPO! fans. Sarah ("seesoccer"), sporting a black trench coat, gold GeneCo band member mask, and a "We [picture of a human heart] Terrance" badge—with 2 of the most unflattering pictures of me available online: bearded lumberjack Terrance and screaming murder-mystery douche bag Terrance—gives me a fast food cup with pictures of GraveRobber glued to it.

Darren & I make our way back to the Esquire. The lobby is packed with people waiting to me us, including the biggest Darren Lynn Bousman fan that I've thus far seen. And he has the buttons to prove it: "#1 DLB Fan" and "I Love DLB". He's such of fan of Darren's directing that he presents Darren with a framed "10 Reasons Everyone Should Be a Darren Bousman Fan" list. Reason # 10: "He helped me get through my trap."

Another fan actually comes dressed as Darren, wielding a "Everybody Toastify!" banner (Rachel "GeneticsAreABitch"). Apparently, when one puts on DLB's wardrobe, one is also doomed to inherit the man's absentmindedness…

This is my 3rd road tour with Darren, and there hasn't been a stop yet where he hasn't misplaced something—his keys, his cell phone, his ID—freaked out about it, & then realized that the missing item was in his pocket the whole time. I always thought DLB's forgetfulness was the result of an ancient gypsy curse, but perhaps I was mistaken. Maybe it's all in the clothes? Rachel, an obviously bright woman, forgot to check the street signs outside of the theatre where she parked tonight, and, as a result, had her car towed. The same night that she decided to dress up like Darren! Coincidence? I think not. 

Rachel can keep the curse, but I'm starting to feel a tad left out due to all of the Darren love *sulk*. Just then, Rachel hands me a flyer that she's made: an illustrated GraveRobber, posing with a pointed finger like Uncle Sam, with the words "I WANT YOU! For the REPO! Army!" Seconds later, I'm handed a palm-sized mechanical cockroach by a young woman in a gas mask. This is followed by a piece of erotic photography courtesy of Lauren ("derangedfangirl"). In this photo, Lauren is on her knees, gazing at a bundle of glowing Zydrate vials, sensuously dangling above her head in the hands of another woman, her friend, Taylor. "Terrance: we aren't here for the Zydrate—xoxo" is inked onto the print.

I also get some playful ribbing by way of a custom-made t-shirt: "GraveRobber Can't Get It Up…" The shirt is worn by Susann, proud mother of a REPO! family that's now made an appearance at all 3 REPO Road Tours. Susann's husband, sporting a devious (almost GraveRobber-like) grin, says that the shirt was his idea. I don't blame him for the jab. He's living in a household full of women who are REPO! fanatics; his 2 daughters, Quinn and Jackie ("AnaLies") are dressed as Shilo and a Henchgirl tonight, and Quinn gives me a card with a drawing of Shilo on the cover with the speech balloon, "We love your Terrance! REPO! is awesome." This is an awesome family, and it's a real pleasure to see them again.

It's 9:00pm. We start the film. Since we haven't eaten dinner yet, Darren, Spooky, & I, try to escape for some grub. But, due to the constant influx of people exiting other films within the Esquire's multiplex—who pass our merch stand and inevitable end up asking questions about REPO!—it becomes obvious that we shouldn't take down the table just yet. As such, Spooky stays to man the merch, while DLB and I go hunt down food. We settle on a Thai joint just up the block. 

As we eat, a pair of teenaged REPO! fans pass the restaurant's window. These girls recognize us, pointing. I wave at them, which sends them nervously sprinting away. If only I hadn't left my chainsaw and hockey mask inside the theatre, I would have run outside after them. Aw, shucks!

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REPO! Road Tour Diary: Cincinnati

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