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Wholly Crap: Mariah Carey


by Anthony Kuzminski

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Regular readers of my columns know that I try and be open to all forms of music. As much as I love to raise my fists to rock, I'm completely and utterly guilty of enjoying unabashed pop music of the guiltiest pleasure. Great pop music is like a Krispy Kreme donut, it's bad for you but it tastes so good and goes down so easy, you immediately want more. With that being said, one of the reasons for why pop artists don't hold onto their celebrity for more than a few years is that they are constantly jumping ship trying to stay current and hip. There are a few acts who have managed this with grace (notably Madonna) but dozens of others who look foolish when trying to adapt to new trends (Jewel anyone?). Then there's Mariah Carey, arguably the most successful pop artist of the last two decades. It appeared it was all over for Mariah in 2001 when he suffered a mental breakdown, her movie and album of the same name Glitter were viewed as a tragedy of mythic pop proportions and then there was Virgin buying her out of her contract for $28-million (oh if I could have such problems). I figured it was over for her, but we all underestimated her. The 2005 release, The Emancipation of Mimi proved to be one of her most successful albums ever and it was heralded as a return to form.

However, since then, she stiffed with E=MC² which debuted high but disappeared without a trace shortly after its release and now there is her new single, "Obsessed", my vote for the worse single of her career. Love or hate Mariah, the one thing she has had going for her is that she has an inborn ability to write her own songs. While this is usually in union with other writers/producers, it is often what differentiates her from other pop starlets. However, her last few years I've noticed her slipping into the same traps Michael Jackson did. Instead of going with their gut instinct and creating trends, Mariah is following them. "Obsessed" is the worst case scenario with its heavily layered vocals and robotic singing voice which is all the rage at the moment but I promise you, in ten years time it will be more dated than synthesizers from the 80's. Here's the most insane part of it all, Mariah doesn't need this trash. She has a voice and a damn distinguished one at that. Now, it may not be for you, but I still find her debut self-titled album to be the pinnacle of her career. She had more in common with Norah Jones and Carol Kane than she did Madonna or Donna Summer. But she chased trends and while she's always remained successful, I feel that somewhere deep inside of her is an artist screaming to be heard and wanting to break out, leave the glitz and glamour behind her and just sing. "Obsessed" is am embarrassment of immense proportions. If you heard it on the radio and there was not intro or outro, you'd never know its Mariah Carey. It sounds like a song created by a record company executive for a young female who has the body to sell records but none of the talent. Mariah has talent and yet she's trying to make you think she doesn't. There isn't anything new here that we haven't heard before and it makes me question what anyone was thinking when this was chosen as the lead single from her forthcoming record.

If all of this isn't enough for you, Idolator has an insane article how fans are donating, $30, $50, $80 and in some cases $200 to buy more singles so it can climb back up the charts. Note to these fans: read the first paragraph of this piece, Mariah was paid $28-million by Virgin to never record another song for them ever again. She doesn't need your money, she doesn't need more fame, she doesn't need more success…what she needs is someone to tell her to create for herself and not for the gliteer and glamour of it all. I'm all for her making palatable pop music, not trite pieces of music that are like a third-rate donut where you take one bite and spit it back out.


Anthony Kuzminski is a Chicago based writer and Special Features Editor for the antiMusic Network and his daily writings can be read at The Screen Door and can be contacted at thescreendoor AT gmail DOT com.


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