For just a moment I'd like to go back to the "Crimson Idol". We were playing in Tillburg last night and I got a phone call from my sister Brenda about 6 PM informing me that our brother had passed away. When we look at death we measure it in one or more stages of life. The death of a parent is the death of our past. The death of a spouse or mate is the death of the present. The death of a child is the death of the future, in that their future will now never happen. The death of my brother represents both the past and the present for me. Part of my childhood is now gone as well as the present.

He was a mentor to me in my early years. Much of the advice he gave me I still use to this day. As a kid, I admired him more than he would ever know. Doing that show last night was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. When we were at the end of the Crimson Idol part of the show, I looked up at one of the screens just as Jonathan was being laid on the bed. I could not control my emotions anymore and walked to the side of the stage and cried.

My brother in some ways was in the story of the "Idol" in the same ways I guess that all siblings compete for their parents attention. As a writer we draw from all the things around us so it's understandable that my relationship with him would be in the story to some degree. Me being the younger brother it's natural to see the older brother as your hero. As a writer I've tried to share myself with you all, even the intimate details of my life to give you a better understanding of who I am so you can better see the man behind the lyrics.

The "Idol" was ultimately a story about love. I write this to say, if there is someone in your life you need to tell that you love them….don't wait.

In Memory of Clifford L. Duren

More next month
B. L.