Dr. Fever
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Dr. Fever is a syndicated columnist for
antiMUSIC. The views expressed by Dr. Fever do not necessarily reflect
the views or opinions of antiMUSIC, the Iconoclast Entertainment Group,
and/or our sponsors.. Yadda, Yadda, Yadda - you know the drill.
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Pretty
Boys and Terrible Music!
{Begin Transmission}:
So, here I sit in "The Lab".
I've got half a pack of smokes, a fifth of Jack, Faith No Mores' "The Real
Thing" blasts out of the speakers, and the blizzard is covering everything.
I've been trying to figure out something to write about and, I think I’ve
got it.
I find myself (for research
purposes) watching VH1 and CTN (College Television Network-a music video
channel on the campus cable). I also read. And, I’ve noticed something
lately that disturbs the hell outta me. Now, I know we here at antiMUSIC
have beat the hell out of boy bands and harped on the fact that they are
in these "groups" because of their looks. Well, folks, it pains me
to say, but it seems that this same trend has spread its vile disease into
the realm of rock.
Lately, a lot of "rock" bands
have come along, outta nowhere and gotten real big real fast. Did they
pay their dues?? Did they bust their asses?? Maybe, who knows? But, what
I have noticed is that they all have one thing in common, a front man who
is easy on the female eyes and translates into major video airplay, which
in turn translates into major album sales. Now, the idea of "sex symbols"
in Rock ahs existed since the beginning. Elvis had woman fainting every
time he shook his hips, Paul McCartney has girls screaming and fainting
every time he flipped his mop top out of his eyes..and so forth and so
on. The idea of the "Sex Symbol Frontman" reached it's zenith in the 80's.
Bret Micheals, Vince Neil, Mark Slaughter and hundreds of other tight leather
wearing, hair spray using "guys" had girls screaming and yelling to the
tune of millions and millions of dollars in album and concert ticket sales.
That all faded out when Nirvana came through and stripped the whole thing
down to it's essence...the music. f*** the image man, just give me the
music! That's how it was until the image issue came back up thanks mostly
to Lou Pearlman and his slaves. Now, the image issue in rock has come back,
it's come full circle. Just look at the landscape of bands out there today
with nothing going for them except for a legion of girls who call their
frontman (or frontmen) "hotties"...Sr-71, Good Charlotte, Papa Roach, Blink
182 and CrazyTown. CrazyTown? Jeez. The mere thought of this band makes
me want to do a header out my ninth floor window. Want more proof of the
image issue? Listen to Blink 182s' live album they recently released...anytime
the fans scream after a song or after tom or mark make a sex comment, it
doesn't sound like a jet engine roar (which is what any good rock concert
crowd should sound like) it sounds like that "most annoying sound in the
world" thing that Jim Carrey does in "Dumb and Dumber". A very high-pitched
and annoying, ear piercing squeal.
The saddest thing of all
is there is nothing that can be done about this trend, it'll carry on until
something comes along to change it, and then, one day (hopefully soon)
we'll all be able to stand up and do are best Phil Anselmo imitations by
screaming "THE TREND IS DEAD!!"
Of course, that's just my
opinion, I could be wrong
{End Transmission}
Questions,
Comments and stupid reasons why Courtney didn't kill Kurt (HAHAHAHA) should
be emailed to: PureRockFury@antimusic.net
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At
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