Dr. Fever
Welcome to my world kiddies. Now, be warned
my columns will offend some of you, hell, a lot of you. But, only those
people with their heads so far up Carson Dalys ass that they can tell you
what he had for breakfast, lunch and dinner! The real music fans will enjoy
these little rants of mine. So, check it out and read on...you might just
learn something. I almost forgot, always remember that “hell is just
a word, the reality is much, much worse.”- Dr Fever
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Disclaimer
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| Dr. Fever is a syndicated columnist
for antiMUSIC. The views expressed by Dr. Fever do not necessarily reflect
the views or opinions of antiMUSIC, the Iconoclast Entertainment Group,
and/or our sponsors.. Yadda, Yadda, Yadda - you know the drill.
If you agree or disagree with Dr. Fever
you will have the opportunity at the end of the article to make your opinion
known. (Be sure that Dr. Fever will respond). Enough from us, enjoy this
months rant!
July Rant Editorial Note. Typically, we do not censor our writers, however this month the Dr. was on a roll and we had to simmer the pot down just a little to avoid legal and other problems (damn lawyers). So when we see a word like damn etc., use your imagination to figure out what he wrote originally. We provide a link at the bottom for those who wish to read this months rant in it's original unedited form. Keavin - Managing Editor |
JULY 2000 - Did I Miss
A Meeting or Something????
The Definative Slam of
Boybands,etc..
OK, what the hell happened???
One day, I'm sitting around and the idea of “popular” music wasn’t all
that bad. People with real talent who had worked there way up the chain
(for the most part) where what was driving the musical mainstream. THEN
all of a sudden...BOOM!!! Boy bands...Jailbait girl bands..and whiney alterna-wannabe
bands OWN this motherf*cking country!!! WHAT? Did I miss a meeting or some
crap?!?!!? Who decided to go and screw things up like this?!?!?? Record
producers??? Label Heads??? Sleazy pet-er-asses??? WHO!?!??!?!!?
OK, I'm sure you’re thinking;
“Geez Fever, calm down..it’s not all that bad.” WHO ARE YOU TRYING TO FOOL?!!??!
Let’s examine a little closer...(BTW-I'm gonna get specific and I may miss
a few..forgive me)
1. Backstreet Boys/N Sync/98
Degrees/LFO/etc, etc: OK, these worthless wastes have a pedigree so to
speak in things like Menudo and New Kids on The Block. But, the recent
explosion is totally unexplainable...well, not totally. All of these ‘groups’
(loose term) all sound/dress/look the same and they all have the same purpose...to
suck every last dollar out of every teenage girl from age 12 on up...and
younger actually. There is no talent here..these guys were thrown into
a mixer and then they were s*** out. Think about it. Hell, one of our lovely
major network television station did a show based on the process...with
the purpose of making a new boy band..which is the last thing we need right
now!!! Do you see what I'm getting at here? When network TV starts doing
shows on how to ‘make a boyband’ then we are ALL in deeper trouble then
we could ever imagine!!
2.Eminem/DMX/Jay Z: First,
let me go on record..I love all three of these artists. I’ve been a fan
of rap music ever since I got my hands on Run DMC’s ‘Tougher Than Leather’
album. Most of my hip hop collection is centered on the ‘street’ hip hop
that is the s*** you won’t see on MTV...BET yes, MTV no. Now, what I don’t
get is the ungodly popularity of all of these artists. Eminem..this kid
is a lyricist of the purest form, black/white/brown/rainbow..it doesn’t
matter! This kid is good. DMX...sure, he’s a rip off of Tupac (RIP)..but,
the kid can bring it plain and simple. Jay Z...the heir to the thrown left
by Biggie (RIP). King Of NY, hell, King of the world. So, now, we’ve got
three of the greatest rappers on the planet and they ALL keep permanent
residence on TRL...can someone explain this to me?? why?? I know, this
falls to the catagory of every white kid (age 12 on up) who wishes he were
from the ghetto and had ‘money, clothes and ho’s”. The type of kid who
lives in a $500,000 house and wishes he lived in Marcy Projects...you know
the type. But, reality check kids...you are not a thug, you are not ghetto
and you are lying to yourself if you think you are! Perfect example of
this-when the uproar hit over Eminems use of homophobic slang on his new
album. The main reason given for concern was the fact that his core
audience was so impressionable that they will mimic his actions and words
and start there own gay bashing...living out the life of Marshall Mathers
words. This, my dear readers, is sad..very sad! Another example is the
Preppy Redneck bitch I work with at my day job that can NEVER (and I do
mean NEVER) get the words to Jay Z’s “Big Pimpin” right....and she only
knows the chorus! and she screws up the words differently everytime! nuff
said on that one.
3. Courtney Love/Fred Durst:
Short and sweet...Love- The pack of smokes in my backpack has more talent
than her, period. (edited for legal reasons)
Durst-worthless, no talent
hack who couldn’t write a song to save his life..sold over a million records
for rhyming nookie and cookie. OH BOY! that’s talent!!
AND FINALLY...
4.Britney Spears/Christina
Aguleria: Big tits.tight clothes. Nuff said.
But then again..this is just
my opinion and I could be wrong.
send
all comments, suggestions, yada, yada yada to: PureRockFury@antimusic.net
Visit
At
a Fever Pitch to read the unedited version of this "rant" plus more
of Dr Fever's take on life and culture.
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