~dr fever~

So, I've been thinking a lot about what to write this month's column about and I think I’ve finally hit on it. I got my inspiration from a political cartoon I saw in the Charleston (WV) newspaper not that long ago and I think I speaks volumes. The cartoon shows two 15-ish kids walking down the halls of AnyHighSchool USA, wearing matching baggy jeans with the tops of there matching boxers showing. Both are wearing over sized t-shirts and backwards, fitted baseball hats. Now, EVERY other kid in the background of this cartoon is wearing the exact same thing. The “conversation bubble” above one kids head says. “I could never go to a school that requires uniforms, I gotta express myself and be different from everyone else”. Get the joke??? I sure as hell do and thus, the inspiration for this months column.

Let me say this write off, normally I can come up with something to blame these disturbing trends I write about on...but not this. I think the best blame lies with MTV and the like, but I’m just not sure. So, I'll try and examine this. I’ve grown up in about the most hick/redneck/backwards location you could imagine, how I turned out like I did is nothing short of a miracle. What gets me is all of these things that are fashionable NOW, I've been doing for YEARS (as I'm sure many of you have as well). It kills me. I don’t intend to change because these styles are what are comfortable to me. I can’t help it if they’ve all of a sudden gotten so mainstream it’s sickening.
I guess, what makes me just downright f***ing ill is the jackasses who HONESTLY think that wearing a backwards hat, or baggy jeans, etc makes them so ORIGINAL! Are they nuts!?!?!? Hey folks, here’s a news flash, the days of true ‘originality’ when it comes to clothes, fashion, whatever are OVER. Everything’s been done. I’m old enough to remember a time when tattoos and piercings were only for dirty old bikers. Now?? Well, every 16 year old girl with an Abercrombie and Fitch midriff shirt and Tommy Girl jeans has a pierced navel and a tattoo on her ankle. This is just an example though.

Another thing that bugs the living s*** out of me is the thought “what will my generation be remembered for”. I mean, over the years generations are remembered for civil rights battles, battles for peace against war, political statements. The list goes on. My generation on the other hand? Well, we’ll be remembered as the “Tattooed, pierced worthless s***heads that wear out underwear OUTSIDE our pants.” And, let me tell you, I can quote Denis Leary to sum up the entire underwear thing: “That’s one of the most basic rules we learn, that underwear goes inside the pants...That’s why it’s call under-f***in-wear!” 

It’s really quite sad, and like I said it just bothers the s*** out of me. Ok, here’s the reality break for all of you out there...”you are not the clothes you wear, you are not the contents of your wallet, you are not a beautiful and unique snowflake, you are not your f***ing khakis. We are all a part of the same compost heap!” Get it?? 

So, where does this leave us? Well, I’ll tell ya...to me, originality is all about what you think and what you feel, not how you look. In other words THINK FOR YOURSELVES don’t be a mindless drone just following Carson Daly's orders...wear what’s comfortable, have opinions (especially your own, who cares if it’s not the same one as all your friends), etc, But don’t ever try to be “original”. Once you claim to be “original” then you’ve already fallen into the trap.

Of course, that’s just my opinion and I could be wrong.

send all comments, suggestions, yada, yada yada to:  PureRockFury@antimusic.net

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