33Hz

About "Let's Get Dolly": In January (2005) antiMusic readers were introduced to a colorful writer known as Dolly Doppelganger when her Veridical Polemic column debuted. That column almost never happened, but Dolly pestered us until we relented and gave her a chance. The results speak for themselves. You may not know this but Dolly originally applied for a reviewer position. Fast forward to mid-January, antiGuy asked me if we had any CDs to review that have been sitting around for a while.  I named a few and he shook his head and said, "I'll pass, I don't know who you would get to review some of those!" As those words escaped his lips, the solution came to me, "Let's get Dolly! She loves everything!" So, I gave Dolly a few CDs to try out her reviewing skills on and what I got back is classic Dolly. You may not learn much about the actual CDs, and you will learn far too much about Dolly's ideas but in the end if you are a Dolly fan you'll love her latest contributions to antiMusic. If you are looking for regular reviews of these cds, look somewhere else. Dolly don't play that. - Keavin Wiggins, Editor antiMusic.com

What is 33Hz? While this might seem a trippy question, it is in fact the answer to many scientific questions dealing with wave frequency measurements. 33Hz is such a famous measurement, that searching for this amount reveals that it is also the frequency proudly claimed by the purveyors of a spacey, new aged colored light spectrum, (groovy, man!) for results such as “a safe, sacred space allowing the bodies to receive what they need, greatly facilitating the work a practitioner does with a hand held Kabbalistic Cut Wand.® Available for only 8 grand!! I don’t know about you, but if playing disco music doesn’t work out, fleecing people will surely keep their cupboards full! I have no idea what a Kabbalistic Cut Wand® is or does, but it sure sounds magical & mysterious, doesn’t it? Fully within the realm of the 70’s experience.  Clearly this is a CD with comprehensive plans to use more than just music to enslave you!

How this all relates to the band 33Hz I have not yet figured out, unless in addition to being crack surfers with a love for waves that has everything to do with cold, hard scientific data, they are also former dairy farmers, as the picture for the $8000 Kabbalistic Cut Wand® looks suspiciously like an upside down milking machine with spikes shooting out of it. Anyway, back to the music. How much wonderful culture are today’s kids are missing out on, by being born too late for disco?

33Hz is frantic with worry over this, and in this cruel injustice, they try to correct this grossly evil wickedness. They released a CD so perfectly 70’s that it’s quite possible that it’s a re-release from something in their past. Either that, or maybe they were raised like the Brandon Frazier character in “Blast from the Past” & think there is a viable market for music of this genre. If so, boy won’t they be surprised!

Strangely, though on this CD from the land where time stands still is a weird love song dedicated to Mrs. Sims of “The Sims” computer game fame.  Apparently, the 33Hz singer guy is desperately in love with her, and somehow has figured out to consummate his deepest desires with his cyber girlfriend. I guess when real life people are release from years of captivity, they just go nuts & don’t even know how to interact with other humans, hence their lustful ardor for computer girls & fax machines.

I don’t understand how or why 33Hz’s captors managed to slip John C.  Mellonhead in with the never ending stream of pre- house music, but sure enough! There is a slowed down disco version of “Jack & Diane”, with different lyrics and a different enough tune structure to keep them out of court, maybe. As if to trick the JCM legal team, this song deals with CITY girls instead of COUNTRY girls, see the tricky difference? Must be their brains have been helped by the powerful frequency of the upside down milking machine & the safe, sacred space it offers.

From an unrequited love for non-human life forms to a love of chemistry, these guys are out to edjucate us! They are so enchanted & dazzled by the wind & sun & chemicals, that they sing an entire song to these remarkable natural occurrences. Someone’s parents need to be brought up on felony confinement charges, I think!

Next comes a song showing their great lunges forward into the terrifying world of dating actual girls. Unfortunately, their lives of living as caged animals have resulted in a pathological shyness. They must hunt women on the internet, hoping to one day sum up enough courage to actually look at a picture of the real live human behind their online dating jungle adventure! The human spirit can overcome every adversity, and this is the heart of the message of 33Hz’s new CD, probably.

Yup, this baby is chock full o’ smooth sounds of the 70’s that will have you raiding Goodwill to stock up on plaid polyester bell bottoms, & avocado green refrigerators. Not only that, but I think the Bee Gees make a surprise appearance! Or maybe the Bee Gee’s vocal coach has helped the 33Hz dudes make the mellow transition from captives to humans! 

Why anyone wouldn’t want to run out & buy 47 of these right away is a mystery! I ordered 48 & plan to open several discos where I can try to unload my collection of extra wide ties & shirts with collars out to the shoulders & all the top buttons missing for the better display of the 34 thick gold chains you’ll need to wear in order to meet the dress code I plan to enforce at my discos.
 

33Hz
Label: Outlook Music Company
Rating: 
 

Tracks:    1. If You Want Me    2. Digital Lover    3. Uncomplicated    4. Chemical Reaction    5. Lovely    6. Call Me Up    7. I Know    8. Angels & Devils    9. Not Ready (To Give Up Just Yet)    10. Crazy All The Time    11. Hot Flashes    12. Whatever Happened To The Party    13. Someone Else

Listen to Samples and Purchase This CD online

Listen to Samples and Purchase This CD online

Visit the official website for more on the band and their new CD!